From the former Newstime website – interview by Rudzani St.floyd. Published in November 2010.

In this week’s Tell It Like It Is with Floyd meet the world’s famous single dad, author, columnist and soon to be television talk show host, Marlon Abrahams. Marlon sure tells it like it is. Read how he believes in the future of this country even though he believes it will not happen in his lifetime. Marlon also happens to have a solution for Julius Malema and DA leader Helen Zille, read on

RF: Who are you?

MA: I am a Creative Communicator, but you can Google my name for the juicy details.

RF: What do you think of SA going forward?

MA: I find politics and politicians amusing. I am a bit of an “expert” on Roman history, especially the periods before, during and immediately after Julius Caesar. And the machinations of modern day politics are absolutely no different than it was back then. Except that they used to have no moral qualms about killing an opponent for the sake of expediency. Though I think that still happens in some places like Zimbabwe for example. South Africa is just fine and will continue to get better. People will fight, people will die, people will be brutalised and raped and murdered and savaged and all the bad things. And people will prosper, and become rich and happy and healthy and all the good things. Just like it was back in Rome. We forget that we were seriously dysfunctional for over 40 years. It’s going to take at least that long if not more to get better, certainly not in my life time.

RF: What changes do you want to see happen in your lifetime in SA?

MA: Free, world class education from pre-school to university, for all.

RF: What do you think of the SA media? Is it doing it for you? What do you want to see happen?

MA: I think a lot of us (journalists) take ourselves far too seriously. In general though I think there is an overall lack of creativity in telling stories, whether it be on TV, Radio, online or print. Most media have such a blatant agenda or bias it’s frankly ludicrous. What happened to the pursuit of objectivity? I remember we had a debate about it in journalism school and we decided that objectivity was impossible, but that it should always be strived for ruthlessly. I don’t think enough energy is exerted in that direction. But I’m an eternal optimist and I believe it is improving daily.

RF: What newspaper do you read and why?

MA: I don’t read newspapers anymore. I consume many news channels online on my blackberry mostly. TV news is too repetitive and the timing more often than not does not suit me.  I enjoy the Telegraph online, primarily because of the innate skill the journalists have as writers and story tellers. They’re able to write about any subject, and even if I am not interested in the subject matter per se, I’m still able to enjoy the article. A quality which I like to think I have in my own writing style. I really do believe that we have a responsibility to entertain our audience as well as giving them the news or making them have second thoughts about an issue. But when you have a blatant disregard for, for example the fact that some people’s looks are better suited for radio, or that some people’s voices are better suited for mutes, you have lost your audience even before the bulletin begins.

RF: How did you get into your career?

MA: I’ve always enjoyed telling a good story. As a kid I used to love going to the movies and retelling the story in the movie to my friends, and one day on the bus to school I had the entire top floor in stitches retelling a movie I had seen that weekend. That’s when I knew I’d be telling stories and getting paid for it one day. I consider myself a Creative Communicator. I’ve studied journalism and worked as a journo, and as a Marketing, PR, and Communications professional. I’m a published author, and soon to be TV talk show host!

RF: When did you last travel and who paid for it? How was the trip and with whom were you?

MA: I flew down to Cape Town for my high school reunion in August 2010. My ex-wife, who’s one of my best friends, paid for it and insisted on accompanying me to the event. It was a blast!

RF: What do you think of President Zuma’s cabinet shake-up?

MA: I wrote the speech for the ousted Minister of Communication General whatshisname, for the launch of Top TV and I was not impressed by his, shall we say energy. I’m glad he is gone. I also think that there is a misconception that because we are South African we are all obsessed with race and politics. There are a few of us who despite being discriminated against and having grown up in a shithole like the Cape Flats, have moved on and I think we genuinely try to interact with each other as equals, which is more fun anyway because then you can’t hide behind stereotypes anymore and your true stupidity or brilliance comes to the fore. Though I do find our politics very, very amusing from time to time. I think, for example, that Malema and Zille should just get a room already! I’ll bet you anything it’ll be the best sex either one of them ever had!

RF: What are you reading currently?

MA: The Secret by Rhonda Byrne is kind-of a daily reference, I’ve read it and watched the DVD many times. The First Man In Rome, by Colleen McCullough. I’m fascinated with all things Roman and Italian and have read her five-book series previously, this is my second reading.  Outliers – The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell and The Girl Who Couldn’t Say No by SA Author and fellow parent24 columnist Tracy Englebrecht.

RF: Do you think online journalism has a future in this country with its lack of willing advertising?

MA: It’s the way of the future. We need to translate the Google model onto news websites. In SA the only thing stopping online being more attractive than print right now is that the masses don’t have enough BlackBerries, but that’s changing very quickly. Online allows you to pick and choose the media you want when you want. This is why brands like my column (here and on parent24) are developing a large and loyal following. In the past if you paid R5 for a newspaper you were forced to read everything in it. Now even if you prefer another website for your news, you can still access me directly.  The consumer is no longer channel loyal; they don’t care on which platform they get their fix, as long as they get it and it is exactly their kind of poison. This is why we have an opportunity to create global personal brands right now in terms of the content of our columns and the style of our delivery. The content and style on the different platforms I write my columns on reflect the demographic of that particular audience. Someone who enjoys my column on parent24.com won’t necessarily enjoy my column on NewsTime, or my column in Status Quo magazine. Magazines, in my opinion are dead already. I think quite soon, like in the next 10 years, the general print media will undergo a massive shock, like a kind of heart-attack.  It will shake and writhe for another few years and then it will be stone dead. Already the book-publishing model has changed, every so-called self publishing house is trying to sign me up to “self-publish” the next book in my series. I get calls from publishing houses’ call centres in the US and India. But the truth is that there is no longer a need for the traditional publisher. I could write my new book, make it Kindle friendly and downloadable and sell it direct to you from my own website. It’s no big secret though. We’re in that in-between period when one era is dying and a new one is being born.

RF: Which news-site do you read more often?

MA: The Telegraph, NewsTtime, News24, Independent (London)

RF: Are you on any social networking site? Which and why?

MA: Facebook, primarily to promote my columns and my book, but I’ve managed to track down long lost friends in the process. I don’t like twitter. I also don’t like people who post inane stuff like I just farted, or messages to their lovers, or expressing thoughts that really should stay in their own heads. But the beauty of Facebook is that every idiot (including me) is entitled to their own opinion. I think the one thing Facebook teaches us is tolerance of different personalities. Or of-course you can click delete.

RF: What is your guilty pleasure?

MA: I’d have to say good chocolate and good Scotch, but I have no guilt about it!

RF: What’s your greatest extravagance?

MA: I think it’s still to come; will have to get back to you.

RF: As a single parent how do you juggle your personal needs with those of your children without neglecting either?

MA: I believe it’s not the amount of time you spend with your kids or anyone else for that matter; it’s what you do with that time. I have a long distance relationship with my youngest daughter who lives in Prague and I try to call her once a week. That 5 minute conversation sometimes has more impact in both of our lives than me spending every day with my kids in SA.

RF: What’s your advice to single fathers and mothers out there?

MA: It’s not about you or your ex anymore. It’s about the child. If you believe this, you’ll make a good parent. Just think about it for a second. And be open to the total unconditional love from your kids, they will teach you the true nature of unconditional love, but only if you’re open to the experience.

RF: Who are your role models and why?

MA: The Ancient Romans, as a culture, they lived with intelligence and without fear!

RF: What’s in your IPod?

MA: I honestly don’t know what an IPod is exactly. Is it that device you play music on? I listen to my music in my car or my stereo at home. Never really been bothered to find out more about an IPod. I am addicted to my BlackBerry though and hope the laws will change one day so we can be married.

RF: Any job you did (before) and would never wish anybody to do?

MA: Don’t work for insecure “superiors”, life’s too short.

RF: What’s your golden rule?

MA: Be present 100%, in the moment. Especially when you communicate! Look at the person, into their eyes. Listen to what they’re saying, and pay attention to their body language, it’ll often tell you much more than their words will.

RF: If you were not doing what you do now what would you do?

MA: Having immense fun trying to figure out how to spend a gazillion dollars I just received from nowhere, because the “secret told me to visualise it and feel it” and it actually worked.

RF: How important is money to you?

MA: In so far as it is a means to an end I think it’s very important. But it’s never worth selling your soul for!

RF: Has your job made your personal life suffer? How?

MA: Not really, it’s all about balance.

RF: What has been (was) your most tense moment in your life?

MA: When I came home from work about 10 years ago and my super hot girl friend sat me down and did a strip show for me and I stared up at her and thought OMG is this it, is this really all there is to life?

RF: What is the most treasured possession in your life?

MA: I don’t hold on to possessions. I regularly throw out stuff I don’t use. I quite happily pass on gifts I have no use for by rewrapping them and giving them to other people who might appreciate or need them more.

RF: How do you want to be remembered?

MA: As the world’s first and most talked about male Talk-Show host of a parenting TV series. As far as we (the production company and I) know, there isn’t such a thing anywhere on the planet right now. We’re just dotting some i’s and crossing some t’s and should be on-air in the New Year 2011.

RF: Have you ever been called a racist? And how do you react to it?

MA: There we go again with the race thing. It’s a tad over used already. Very tired! I don’t like hanging out with certain kinds of blacks, whites, coloureds, or Indians. And I love hanging out with certain kinds of blacks, whites, coloureds and Indians. Oh and I have a very good Chinese friend I don’t see often enough, oh and a cute Jewess and a hot Muslim woman.... Yes that’s it... I think I need an Aborigine, and Eskimo and a Maori, then I’ve got it all covered? Don’t think I’m going to make it to the lost tribes of the Incas, although I did attract a Mexican Doctor to comment on one of my columns the other day after quoting one of his papers. So ja, maybe I will be fully PC (vomit) soon.

RF: Where did you meet your partner (if you have)?

MA: I’m preparing for Miss Right, according to my astrologer she’s planning to show up sometime in 2011. Although he was wrong about Angelina Jolie leaving Brad and the kids and calling me up...so...ja.

RF: What are/were the most memorable moments in your life?

MA: The births of my children, and every second I spend with them. It’s not always great, or I’m not always on top form, but it’s always the most memorable!

RF: Do you think Lyndall Beddy really exists? Are her theories believable? Did UCT really train her?

MA: I think she’s David Bullard’s mother. I love her, I think what she’s achieved just into reaction and comment is just awesome!

 
When I started dating again after the birth of my first child I found myself hesitating. I’m not talking about a consensual shag with someone you’re probably never going to see again. I’m talking about meeting someone you find attractive and wish to pursue a possible relationship with. It’s a weird situation, well it was for me anyway. I’ve never had any second thoughts about who to get involved with. Like most guys, you’re attracted to a woman, you go out on a few dates, you swop bodily fluids for a while and then you both expose your true selves and boom it’s either over or it’s the start of something wonderful. After Hannah’s arrival I started looking at potential dates in a whole new light. What would my daughters think of her?

Children are born with innate intuition where they are able to sense good and bad just by being in the same room with someone. And as they get older they loose this sense or rely on it less. I experienced Hannah’s sense of it in a very real way one day when I was visiting a lady friend whom I was considering having a relationship with (this was about two years after Hannah was born). The neighbour had a delightful little girl of about 4-years-old, and soon Hannah was playing outside with her. Not long after, I heard Hannah let out an almighty scream. I rushed outside to find her screaming at a man who was trying to help her up after she had tripped and fallen. This was extremely bizarre to me, ‘cos the guy who was trying to help her was her new friend’s dad. He seemed like a perfectly respectable sort.

 But Hannah wouldn’t go near him and she screamed like a banshee (again very unusual for her) until I picked her up. A few weeks later I discovered that the guy who was trying to help her was indeed a nasty piece of work who was involved in violent criminal activities. A few months later his wife left him after discovering that he had been having an affair with her best friend. Suddenly Hannah’s reaction made sense. She got on pretty well with the lady I was dating and we had some fun times. Since then I’ve been very alert and aware of Hannah’s reaction when in the presence of adults, men or women. She’ll either rush up to them and jump into their arms, or politely greet and steer clear of them. Her reaction has often informed my decision and it’s been spot on about 95% of the time. Though I’ve noticed that as she’s gotten older, her reaction is sometimes tempered with her own agenda.
But when they’re two-years-old they aren’t able to include the conniving factor yet. Maddison is easy, she just ignores you like dirt if she doesn’t like you. It’s a bit embarrassing when I have to remind her to greet so and so and she calmly replies “I don’t want to dad” and walks on. So? Have you picked up on your kid’s intuition yet?