Hannah and I have this habit, which was formed since she was old enough to fit into her car seat. We chat continuously while I drive. And sometimes our conversations would be interjected by typical single daddy comments like “move your slow butt out of the way you moron,” or “woah what a yummy-mummy”. I know, it’s pitiful, but single dad’s don’t get much time, or even have much energy to date. So you learn to appreciate eye-candy whenever it comes your way. In my case it’s usually when I pick the kids up from pre-school. Recently, I fetched Hannah from school first, then we set off across town to collect Maddi from pre-school. Both Hannah and Maddi are by now very familiar with the term “yummy-mummy” and while Hannah at age 8, knows full-well its meaning and the tone of my usage, Maddison is all innocence in her application of said term. What made me blush unashamedly, and lose my gift of speech completely that day, is that she chose a particularly yummy-mummy to embarrass me with. There is a young mom at Maddi’s preschool that literally causes all the dad’s to stop what they’re doing, when they arrive in the mornings or afternoons, stand quite still for the duration of her presence, and we all sigh a collective hmmmm after she’s left. The reason for this effect she has on all of us, is the exquisite way her derriere occupies the lucky pair of jeans or dress she may be wearing. On the day in question, I happened to slot in behind her en-route through the security gates at the pre-school, holding Maddi on one arm and her bag in the other. “Look daddy,” Maddi, with all the gusto of a knowledgeable 2-year-old, “it’s the yummy-mummy,”. Somewhat pre-occupied with said yummy-mummy’s sashaying posterior, I say “What’s that baby?” At this point yummy-mummy has turned around to, it seems also, have a look what exactly is a yummy-mummy. “Here daddy, the yummy-mummy,” complete with accusing finger pointing directly at miss fancy pants.
Instant dry mouth afflicts me, my temperature soars to somewhere between damn-is-it-hot-in-here or have I just descended in to the devil’s embrace. Maddi giggled, clearly sensing my chagrin. Yummy-mummy, bless her heart, just smiled a knowing smile and made the whole thing go away in an instant. The lesson learned, and to be remembered by all single dads is that kids really do say the darndest things and at the most inappropriate times too.

 


Comments

Dadtobe
09/28/2009 00:41

Great article, very funny, now I know what to look forward to!

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Johannes
10/06/2009 07:16

hahahahah, I had a similar experience by referring to the neighbour as an F-wit, and one day he came over and my little one screamed at the top of his voice, "Dad, F-wit's here."

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