Getting inside the head of the penis

Just how well do you know your penis? No, it’s not a frivolous question. Women have for centuries accused us of having two brains and that most of us think with the little head. Well I’m beginning to believe them. Did you know that the penis is quite capable of ejaculating without being erect or even the least bit aroused? And also did you know that it is quite capable of defying extreme exhaustion, mental fatigue, a knowing dislike for a partner, and yet it will still, against all odds stand to attention repeatedly, sometimes up to five times in one night? No, you’re not allowed to ask me how I’ve come by this earth shattering information.

The scary conclusion I’ve been forced to come to is that the penis does in-fact have a mind of its own, and its sole purpose, its only raison d’être , the only thing it is interested in above all else, save the excretion of waste, is to make babies. What a fascinating machine it is. It does not care that you’re tired, or emotionally wasted maybe, or even insufficiently aroused, if it is anywhere near the possibility of procreating, it will find its resolve and shoot at the target.

Though it must be said that conversely it can also be quite content to go AWOL for its own, very complex and intricate reasons, sometimes a reason as frivolous as just simply showing the big head whose boss. I mean, why else would it not rise to the occasion when the big head is in the mood and commands it to dance? And I’m not making light of men with serious erectile dysfunction, that’s a serious issue. I’m having a very serious exposé about the petulant nature of an appendage we men to learn to love, cherish and relate to as the best thing since the invention of the wheel, right after we’ve had our first self-induced jerk-off.

Which brings me to my headline today. There really is a difference between ejaculation and orgasm. The fact that in most cases men provide visible proof of ejaculate, does not necessarily mean that they have in-fact had an orgasm. Again this is the little head exercising its superiority over the big head. It knows that its main purpose is to fertilise eggs, as quickly as possible and nothing will stop it from achieving its objective.

Ever gone tantric? Now there’s a trip everyone should experience at least once. From the male point of view, you actually orgasm without ejaculating... Think about it... huh... how cool is that! And apparently if you do it right you can go on all day long. How do you think those “enlightened” beings can sit under a tree for years with only a silly grin on their faces.

But why all this talk about wriggly tadpoles and disenchanted members? Well, it serves as a warning. The penis is not to be trusted; it is a uniquely sophisticated device, supremely engineered to disperse the seeds of life at the slightest opportunity. Be warned, be aware, and don’t come running to me when you’ve proved me right. You might think you’re in it for the sexual euphoria of the orgasm, trust me, your best friend is only in it for the egg shoot, and he ain’t your friend either. 

What about contraception, condoms and such like, I here you scream in horror. Well let me let you in on another dastardly secret. Some evolved and more experienced penises have discovered ways to break through the condom, in some cases even making them disappear during seed planting activity. Some can even coax the big head into thinking that you’re capable of coitus interruptus, or that your partner never forgets to take precaution, or or or. Don’t trust the fucker, he’s only in it for the babies! You have been warned! 

 


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